Self Esteem
by theotherchick
Summary: Even the most accomplished young men can find that they're little more than a booty callin the right situation.  And who was Anthony Goldstein to complain?  But if the other men in her life found out?  He didn't want to think about it.
1. Chapter 1

Self-Esteem

Inspired by the Offspring Song of the same name

Michael Corner, Terry Boot, Anthony Goldstein, Ginny Weasley

_Tap, Tap, Tap. _

That gentle tap at the door to the head dormitory. _Ignore it, Goldstein, pretend you've gone to bed._

"Tony?" "Please open up. I'm so sorry, I couldn't get away. I need to talk to you. Please."

_Bloody hell! That voice. She sounds upset. _

Tony closed his arithmancy book with a firm snap.

_Of course, she sounds upset. She always sounds upset when she shows up at your door. Ignore it--ignore her! _

Anthony Goldstein, head boy and well respected Ravenclaw, clenched his fists as he stared at the closed entrance to the common room he shared with his Hufflepuff aligned counterpart in head duties, Hannah Abbott. He had waited almost 2 hours in the library for the girl who now waited outside his door.

_2 hours! It's not like he was...Longbottom. He was head boy, for Merlin's sake. _

_"_ Tony, anyone could pass by and see me out here. I'm taking an awful chance...for us."

_Us? Had she said, us? He couldn't very well leave a girl like that outside, could he? No. His Jewish grandmother would have wept, that her only grandson wasn't a gentleman._

Glancing at his watch, noting that it was 2 am and Hannah was in all likelihood fast asleep, Anthony Goldstein talked himself up off the sofa where he had been angrily studying and walked to the door.

There she stood, _lovely_, with a determined set to her jaw and a couple of bottles of butterbeer in her hands. He knew what that meant.

She was angry.

A long list of possibilities ran through his mind, _Seamus? Probably not. Luna? No. It would have to be Ron. Only that red headed prat had the abilty to raise her ire like this. Except maybe Malfoy. But she'd have just hexed his sorry arse and paid the consequences. _

Despite his annoyance with the lateness of her visit and feeling pissed over being stood up earlier, Tony couldn't help but be glad to see her. When she was angry like this, her eyes snapped with fire in their honey brown depths.

_Damn! She fairly took his breath away._

She only seemed to seek him out when she was angry. Fortunately for him, she had a fiery temper. Often, he got the urge to thank Ron Weasly for being so insufferable that it brought this girl to his door. He'd never do it though. Between Ron and Harry, Tony knew that he'd never stand a chance. Better to be thankful for small favors.

Leaning against the door frame, she clinked the bottles together lightly and with a raised eyebrow held one out to him. Although he looked hesitant, she knew he'd accept it.

She knew him well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Do you know who she is? I think you do.**

I own nothing, beyond my own dirty mind.

They'd met during his fifth year, when she began dating a good friend of his, Mickey Corner. She'd used him as a sounding board when she was in a right state about some of Mickey's opinions about Quidditch and the mild rivalry between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor houses. He'd felt good about being there for her, acting in his capacity as a friend to both she and Mick But he knew that if Mick blew it...well, she might need a shoulder to cry on.

He was right, almost.

After a particularly bad row, she had stormed out of the DA meeting they were in. Holding up his hand toward Mick, he had followed her out the door and down the corridor. Concerned that she might be caught out by that awful Umbridge woman, he'd quickly pulled her into an empty classroom so that she could calm down. Standing there watching her filled with quiet rage, he'd been awestruck. Like an ancient Irish queen, or a goddess from the German stories of his childhood, she was terrifying. He was glad her wand wasn't drawn as she advanced on him shaking with her fury. She wasn't very big, only a little over 5 feet and at 15 Tony had been inching toward 6 foot, but it had taken all his nerve not to put up his hands to protect himself. But when she reached him, she didn't hit him. She reached up, grasped his head on both sides and...snogged him senseless. Literally senseless. Anthony Goldstein was certain that he was having a seizure of some sort. He couldn't think.

He wasn't very experienced with girls. Merlin knows, he liked them, but they always seemed to place him firmly in the category of "friend." Responsible, studious, trustworthy Anthony Goldstein was snogging his best friend's girl in an empty classroom. His brain didn't know what was going on but his body certainly did. He reached down and wrapped one of his hands in her thick curtain of auburn hair and placed his other on her waist to draw her closer. It wasn't a sweet, gentle or romantic kiss. It was fueled by anger, which is a close relation of passion. Her lips were parted and her tongue was exploring the inside of his mouth...hungrily.

Until, he groaned.

She jumped back from him as though burned. He couldn't breathe. Actually, they both sounded as though they'd run at a full clip from the Quiddich pitch to the north tower. Like a cornered animal, she looked ready to bolt. Then it happened...Tony got the giggles. He didn't know why at the time and even two years later it seemed asinine. But serious, studious,and not to mention best-friend's-girl-snogging Anthony Goldstein began to laugh. Small chuckles at first, but building into a silent shaking hilarity. It was absurd. And then she was laughing, too.

They didn't talk about it. He asked her if she wanted to return to the DA meeting. With a nod and a giggle they walked back to the room of requirement. Walking back in with her, faces flushed with what was assumed to be laughter, Anthony got a nod of thanks from Mickey as he tried to make up to Ginny. Looking around for his sparring partner, Terry Boot, Tony caught Harry's eye. Harry smiled at him with what looked like respect and gave him the thumbs up. She was his best mate's little sister, after all, and he knew what her temper was like. If only he'd known what had really calmed down the tempestuous Ms Weasley, Tony would certainly have been on his way to the infirmary.

Falling into his bed in the 5th years' dormitory after his prefects' rounds that night, Tony wondered if this would be the end of Mickey and Ginny. Perhaps. On the edge of sleep, he heard Mick stirring in his bed across the way and felt a wave of guilt for what he'd done. Sure, he hadn't initiated the kiss, but damned if he'd pushed her away.

"Tony, mate, you still up?"

"Hmm."

"I don't know what you said to her, but…thanks."

Tony thought that was the end of it and began to drift off again, trying to quiet his guilty conscience.

"You know, she's bloody terrifying when she's mad like that. Won't let me touch her, won't let me apologize." Mick let out a deep sigh. "You must have the magic touch, mate."

"Magic touch…" Tony murmured, pretending to fall asleep. Lying there in his bed, Tony had never felt like such a snake.

_Might as well be a Slytherin. Hell, they probably keep their knives out of each other's backs better._

Guilt was something the tall boy was good at. His Jewish grandmother and aunts had made it their mission to instill in him an appreciation for how lucky he was, while his Italian Catholic mother had made certain he confessed every sin. These forces warred within Anthony, he wanted to confess his transgression to Mickey, but he also didn't want to hurt his best friend. And then there was Ginny. He could still taste her, vaguely, like the scent of honey and cinnamon. The memory of her hair wrapped around his hands...it was torture. He knew that even if she and Mick were over, he couldn't date her. It was part of the code for being mates.

_Well, maybe if there were a generous waiting period._

Who was he trying to fool? He had to get the girl out of his thoughts...

_And into his arms. Traitor. _

Tomorrow he would have to be careful, he'd school his thoughts of Ginny Weasley back onto a friendly foundation. With this decision made, Tony settled in to sleep. A sleep filled with images of a fiery Gryffindor goddess.

Exiting the Ravenclaw common room the next day, Tony was surprised to see Mickey and Ginny walking toward breakfast together. With an arm draped possessively around the girl's shoulder and a discrete nuzzle into her neck, Mick looked happy. They both looked happy. Standing in the archway leading to the great hall, Tony was not happy. He'd decided that they were friends, but seeing her...well, he didn't feel all that friendly.

Suddenly there were two identical sets of arms attached to two identical red heads, pulling Mick off Ginny.

"Unhand our baby sister"

"Corner, watch it, she's the only one we've got."

"Hate to have to take"

"Punitive actions"

"Against a fellow DA member."

Fred and George were trying to take the piss out of Mickey over his relationship with their "baby" sister. It was all done with the usual Weasley twin humor, but those two were always in it for the laugh and their methods were rarely above reproach. Tony knew he should step-up for Mickey. As a prefect, preventing harassment fell under his purview. But today, he let it ride. Then the terrible twosome noticed him.

"Goldstein, heard you took on the role of"

"Lion tamer, last night."

The two seventh year boys were pantomiming holding off Ginny with whips and chairs, as she snarled at them.

"What?" Tony asked with the most innocent look he could muster.

"Didn't you follow"

"Our raving lunatic"

"Of a sister"

" Out of the _you know where_ last night?"

" And return with a semi-normal person?"

" OI, Fred, maybe it's music."

" They say it soothes the savage beast, George."

"Do you sing, Goldstein?

The two boys about doubled over in laughter, they might actually have collapsed on the floor had Ginny not aimed a couple of stinging hexes at them.

"Oi, Ginny, just having "

"a bit of fun."

Through clenched teeth, Ginny replied, "At my expense."

Watching Ginny stalk into the great hall and take a seat beside Hermione Granger, Tony thought she was amazing. Then he thought of the twins and Ron,

_didn't she have other brothers as well, even one that worked with dragons?_

not to mention Harry and Hermione. There was enough spell power there to make him shudder. No, best to be just friends with Ginny Weasley, it would be safer that way.

When Umbridge disbanded the Quiddich teams and placed a ban on Harry Potter's involvement, Anthony saw a side of Mick that he wasn't sure he liked. The bloke seemed so pleased that the Ravenclaw team actually had a shot at the cup, despite how that shot had come about. The tall prefect warned his friend to be careful about his excitement around Ginny. But Mick didn't listen. Two of her brothers had also been banned and it wasn't long before Ginny decided to go out for the team herself. When Ginny was selected as Seeker, Mick had been a condescending prat. As Ginny was headed to a practice, Tony overheard an exchange he couldn't believe.

"Ginny, love, why bother with practice? Cho's got so much more experience..."

"Are you saying you don't think I have the skills to play?"

"No, it's not that, sweety, but you are only a 4th year, and Cho's been our seeker for a couple seasons now."

"_Sweety_, Harry was Seeker in his 1st year. So what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, if Harry were still Seeker, do you think you'd have any spot on that team?"

"I cannot waste my time here with **you**. I have a practice to attend."

Tony stepped into an alcove to prevent Ginny Weasley from running him down as she strode by. Her face was set with determination and Tony observed her small hands clenching and unclenching as she made her way down to the pitch. He watched her go and marveled that Mick was such a git. Think of him and there he was, Mick stopped at Tony's side.

"She's gorgeous and I love to be around her. But damn it, she won't let me cop a feel or slip her the tongue. I'm not sure it's worth it."

Tony was astonished. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing but chaste school girl kisses, mate. I keep hoping she'll relax."

Tony remembered the way Ginny had kissed him, full of passion and fire.

_Could Mick really be talking about the same girl? He hadn't imagined it? Had he?_

No, he felt his pulse race a bit at the memory, it had happened.

_What in Merlin's name was up?_

A/N Is Tony in trouble? Yes, he certainly is.

Please review, I love this story, but if you don't, I have other things I could move on to.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own dirty mind and vivid imagination.

A/N: Poor Tony, such good intentions.

The strife between Michael Corner and Ginny Weasley came to a boiling point when the newly reconstituted Gryffindor team (with Ginny as Seeker) played their match against the Ravenclaw team. Despite more experience from the Ravenclaws and what could only be described as a flawless battle plan--drawn up in meticulous detail, the daring and courage of the Gryffindors had prevailed. The unexpected victory was due in part to some amazing flying by Ginny and some spectacular saves by her brother Ron. Tony had forced the smile from his face as he'd watched Ginny go into a steep dive for the snitch that was so reminiscent of Harry's style that many in the stands gasped. Despite the loss to his own house, Tony was impatient to get down to the pitch so that he could congratulate Ginny on her victory.

_No, to shake hands with __**Ron**__ Weasley and Hermione. _

They were his prefect counterparts. He and Padma were all for having good working relationships with the other house prefects,

_well except the Slytherins. God he despised Malfoy. _

He had expected to be following behind Mick as they went to offer kudos to the victors, especially since Ginny was Mickey's girlfriend. But one look at Mickey's face made him wonder.

"Mick? You coming?"

"Yea."

"You a'right?"

"No. She didn't tell me she could play like that. She didn't want me down at the pitch when she was practicing."

"Well, you did give her a hard time about their chances." Tony tried to temporize.

"Was she listening to our plans? Merlin's beard, the little chit used me!"

"No way, Mick, you're just upset about the loss. Did you see how she played, you should be proud of her."

"Proud?" Mick replied with a derisive snort.

"Let's move. I have to go congratulate Weas...um, Ron and Hermione."

_Bugger all!_

Tony thought, as he remembered the bet he'd made with Ron. A case of butterbeer and his notes from Divination. Normally, Ron would have used Hermione's notes but the bushy haired girl had dropped the class in spectacular fashion. Time to face the music.

When they reached the pitch, Tony walked directly toward the assembled cheering Gryffindor mob. Ron noticed the tall dark haired prefect and broke free of his supporters, a huge grin plastered across his trademark Weasley features.

"Goldstein?"

Tony swallowed his pride at the predatory look on the red-head's face, determined to fulfill the terms of the bet he'd made at the last prefect's meeting.

"Prefect Weasley, that was an exceptional demonstration of flying, skill and

_choking on words_

intelligent play." Tony said the words clearly but without enthusiasm.

_Prat._

" Why thank-you, Goldstein. And?" Ron Weasley smiled at Goldstein's discomfiture.

_The sod was having far too much fun with this._

"I would like to offer you a case of butterbeer as a token of my _esteem." _

The last word was said through clenched teeth, but Tony's smile never faltered. The group erupted into laughter, as Ron clapped Tony on the back.

"I thought you were going to blow! You're alright, mate. Bring the case by later, we'll be celebrating. Bloody hell, you're invited as well!" Ron Weasley was feeling his victory and began to head back toward the castle flanked by his two best friends, when Tony caught sight of Ginny. She was staring in the direction of the Ravenclaw team. He followed her eyes to see Mickey with his arm around Cho, consoling her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

_Damn! What an idiot!_

Tony knew that Micheal Corner deserved whatever he had coming, but he also knew that a confrontation wouldn't be good for the fragile unity developing amongst some members of the houses as a result of the DA. Not to mention that if Ginny assaulted Mick, she'd be in deep with Umbridge. He had to defuse this situation and quick.

Screwing his courage to the sticking point, Anthony Goldstein strode quickly to intercept Ginny as she headed toward an oblivious Mick and Cho. Tony stepped in front of the red haired seeker, blocking her path.

_Just don't touch her._

" Get out of my way." the girl seethed.

"Sorry, no can do."

" I'm just going to have a few choice words with my _boyfriend._ So move."

"Just words? Then why is your wand drawn?"

Ginny looked down at her hand, seemingly surprised to find the polished instrument in her hand. Glaring up at him, she tucked her wand into the loop on her quidditch gear. She still held her broom and was breathing heavy with the exertion of the match and her anger at Mickey's defection. Tony looked over his shoulder to check that his friend and the Ravenclaw seeker had moved off to a safe distance before he moved to let her go past. Instead, he found himself pushed up against the stands.

He was puzzled. Was she going to take out her frustration on him?

_Oh, gods! She had that same look on her beautiful face._

His heart began to pound as he became aware of how close her slight body was to his. Her hands holding tight to his blue jumper beneath his open pea coat. Her broom dropped unceremoniously to the ground.

S_he's strong, for someone so small._

He could feel her warm breath on the underside of his chin as she looked up at him. He could smell her, like clover honey, cinnamon and an earthy tang that must be her perspiration. Her hair was damp around her flushed face, though the mass of her long hair was held back in a braid, to keep it out of the way during the recently finished match. It was too much to take.

Tony reached for her waist and pulled her into him. An ache in the pit of his stomach was driving him a little mad. He needed to kiss her.

So he did.

One hand remained on her waist and the other slid up her back to the spot beneath her heavy braid. Her hands didn't move from his chest where they remained clutched onto his jumper. The tall boy leaned forward and tipped her head up so that his lips could meet hers. He didn't want to scare her off, so his kissed her softly keeping a tight rein on his desire to plunder her mouth, resisting the need to kiss her deeply the way they had a few short weeks ago.

But that wasn't what Ginny wanted at all.

The girl opened her mouth to him and thrust her tongue into his mouth. She let go of his jumper, forcing her hands up to push his wool coat off his shoulders. He didn't resist. All he could think of was the feel of her mouth and the closeness of this girl's body. When she moved her hands down to the bottom of the soft jumper he wore and began to pull it up over his head, Tony was able to think for a moment as their mouths parted.

_She doesn't want to do this, she's just angry. Gods!_

Her mouth had moved to his neck as she pulled him down to her. The feel of her tongue on his neck--the chill he felt on the moist trail she traced from his jaw to his ear, tracing the soft cartilage with her exquisite tongue, her breath warm and steaming against his skin-- was hypnotic. His blue jeans were becoming uncomfortably tight and each swipe of her tongue made him throb with desire for this Gryffindor goddess.

When the teasing of her mouth on his neck sent unbearable shocks of electricity through his body, he recaptured her mouth with his and began a thorough exploration. Almost without his volition, Anthony Goldstein's hands had found their way under the hem of Ginny's jersey and his hands were splayed across her slight back, her skin slick with sweat. He could feel the almost feline musculature under her skin as he moved his hands up her back in small circles, kneading the tension in her frame. The girl made a noise that was half sigh and half groan, as she began to work on the buttons of the oxford he wore.

He wanted to taste the skin of her neck, to burrow his face into to her hair, but the difference in their heights was going to be difficult. Until, he felt the little minx shift her pelvis until her legs were on either side of his left leg, an instinctual movement of his leg up between hers lifted her up as he braced himself and his left foot against the support of the quidditch stands. The pressure of his thigh against the heat between the girl's legs made her arch her back, revealing an expanse of throat and neck that Anthony was helpless to resist. Kissing, tonguing and nipping with his teeth at her neck and collar bone, he felt the amazing witch in his arms shudder. She was pressed against him, her thigh against his erection as she bore down on his thigh.

"Oh. Ginny there you are...and Anthony, I was looking for you, too." Came a dreamy voice from behind Ginny.

They froze. It took milliseconds to become aware of their state. Ginny's hair was unbound and her shirt was askew, Tony was even more disrupted--no coat, no jumper, oxford cloth shirt unbuttoned and Ginny's hands on his smooth, lean chest, not to mention his raging hard-on. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, refusing to allow her to look away; Tony slowly lowered his leg, placing Ginny's feet back on the ground.

As Ginny turned, Anthony Goldstein let loose a sigh as he then met the eyes of possibly the most unusual member of his house, Luna Lovegood. She didn't look any more surprised than usual, in fact, she looked a bit dreamier than expected--which was saying something.

"I lost one of my radish earrings and came back to get it. I told Hermione I would look for you, she was worried after seeing Michael with Cho. I told her there was nothing to worry about."

"Luna?" Ginny asked.

"Hummm?"

"Are you going to say anything about...this?" Ginny indicated the obvious situation.

Luna looked at Ginny and Anthony with confusion.

"Why would I?" Luna seemed genuinely bewildered. "Tony is very nice. He takes good notes, and helps me find my shoes when they take them. Tony?" Luna was looking at his blue jeans.

"Yes, Luna?" His breathing was almost back to normal, but unfortunately his jeans were not.

"You should pick up your sweater and coat, they might attract tragnostle sprites, and they're very hard to get rid of."

"I'm sure they are, Luna."

Tony drew his jumper back over his head, feeling Ginny's eyes on him. He decided that it would be in his best interest to carry his coat over his arm--in front of his pelvis. It appeared that Luna wasn't going to talk about what she'd walked in on. But no need to advertise. After all, Mickey and Ginny weren't even officially broken up.

The three of them walked back to the castle together. Tony and Ginny stealing glances at each other, but allowing Luna to lead the conversation. Once back inside, Ginny took her leave of the two Ravenclaws to head to her own dormitory, presumably to shower up. As they walked toward the Ravenclaw dormitories, Tony brought his hands to run through his loose curls of black hair and caught the smell of her skin on him. The tightness in his jeans had been dissipating but the smell of her brought it back with a vengeance.

_Ugghhh. Now, I'm going to need a cold shower. _

"Smell is one of the most potent of our senses." Luna stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Yes, Luna."

A/N Please leave me a review. I have more...if you want it.


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